Codependency vs. Interdependence | Which One Are You In?

Codependency vs. Interdependence | Which One Are You In?

Are you wondering if you are in a codependent relationship or a healthy, interdependent one?

In this video, licensed California psychotherapist Vida Low from "Therapy by Vida" breaks down the common signs of codependency and provides actionable steps to build a healthy, interdependent partnership.

Signs of a Codependent Relationship:

Poor Boundaries: Struggling to say "no" and taking on your partner's problems as if they were your own.

Self-Sacrifice:

Giving up your own hobbies, losing touch with friends, and spending less time outside the home to appease your partner.

Fear of Abandonment & Walking on Eggshells:

Staying home to gauge your partner's mood—especially in relationships involving addiction or abuse—and sacrificing your own feelings to avoid upsetting them.

The Dedicated Caregiver:

Trying to manage your partner's anxiety and fix their problems just to keep them from getting stressed, yelling, or drinking.

Emotional Reactivity:

Experiencing an enmeshment of feelings where you cannot separate your own emotional state from your partner's emotional needs.

Steps to Build Interdependence:

Reclaim Your Identity: Rediscover what makes you grounded and happy by spending time alone, seeing friends, enjoying hobbies like dancing or golf, or even going back to school for a degree.

Practice Assertiveness: Take a pause before automatically saying "yes," and learn to firmly say "no" to protect your energy and desires.

Set and Hold Boundaries:

Commit to your personal time, like taking a weekly art class, and stick to it even if your partner wants you to stay home.

Detach Emotionally with Love:

Stop rescuing your partner from their mistakes and allow them to experience natural consequences so that both of you have the necessary space to change and grow.

Foster Reciprocity:

Create a 50/50 partnership where both people share decisions, discuss household or financial matters, and support each other equally.

A wonderful, interdependent relationship is like two big oak trees standing side by side.

The strong roots and thick trunks remain completely separate, representing your individual strength, voice, and interests, while only the top canopies touch, symbolizing love, respect, and healthy caregiving.

Important Resources:

If you are in an abusive relationship or have a partner struggling with alcoholism, please seek professional help, consider attending Al-Anon meetings, or explore 12-step programs to find support.

Thank you for watching Therapy by Vida!

If you need further help, we highly recommend seeking out a licensed, non-judgmental therapist to help you and your partner grow.

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